Ok, here's what you need to do. First, stop dwelling on it. Your search for wanting to seek it out is at the moment playing into its I understand wanting to know more, but for the moment you need to separate yourself from it a bit. Its getting stronger and I think the #1 priority is to stop it from getting stronger.
Second, step away from your normal surroundings for a bit. You need to determine if its linked to a location, although at this point I doubt it is.
What religion are you or do you believe in? If you don't mind me asking.
Get your house smudged, it may bet short term but it will help.